Self Control
by NitrogenFixation
Summary: What do you do when your own skin is a cage? / Oneshot. Semi-canon. Tag: ep. 84.


**Self Control**

He feels the smooth cards under his hand.

The soft, muffled sound of shuffling reaches his ears - he stares into the darkness and feels his hands move automatically, displacing the cards with practiced speed. The hands pause. Lift the top card. He knows without looking what it is. He sets it softly back on top and begins the process again.

He wonders, not for the first time, when he'll open his eyes to the world again. He hopes to wait a few more minutes. He doesn't think he's ready yet.

He takes a slow, long, deep breath, 'til his lungs feel like they'll burst; holds it. His lungs ache almost pleasantly; after a long, dragging moment, they itch and burn, and he holds on for a few more moments before exhaling slowly, softly. His hands shuffle for moments that he doesn't bother to count, then stop, fingering the top card.

The pristine backing, matching every other card in the deck perfectly, feels familiar. He returns to his shuffling.

He feels the smooth cards under his hands and wonders, not for the first time, who is in control.

His eyes open and his hands pause mid-motion as a speaker by the door crackles to life, and a voice tells him to be in the lobby...too soon. He wasn't ready.

The room is dark, he observes - the light off with only the moonlight in the window at the head of his bed, behind him, to make the backs of his cards shine sleekly. He shuffles once more, and lifts the top card, staring at it for a long moment.

He puts it back, stands up, and leaves the room, deck in hand.

_I'm so sorry..._

* * *

_Yanushii, don't struggle._

He presses out, feeling control just out of reach, and the darkness forces him back.

_Stop it, Hikari._ The words swat him away like a simple annoyance, but the persistent resistance indicates that he is a much more immediate threat than his other would like him to know. _I won't hesitate._

He pauses, and his other returns his attention to the game at hand. His hands reach for the draw pile. Five cards, per the rules -

His eyes linger on one, and something shifts in his mind. He presses outward forcefully.

_Please,_ he requests softly at the same time - his other has no respect for begging. Condescension and irritation press him down again; he presses back, this time more forcefully. _I won't let you._

_Yanushii,_ and the word is almost fondly condescending, _you can't stop me._ But it's a lie and they both know it. He presses more, and he's beaten down again. He persistently reaches, presses, until he can vividly feel the control in his fingertips, hear his blood rush, and he's almost won -

He feels the shadows rise and shove him back down.

_Know no more, Yanushii,_ his other murmurs softly, and his fingers softly touch a particular card before he is forced to obey.

Not for the first time, he wonders whose hands hold that card.

* * *

And suddenly he's awake and he's breathing and he's _free_ -

He feels his heart beating in his chest, hears his blood rushing, and he can feel his other's thrumming anger pulse under his skin, and he looks up -

And finds himself face-to-face with the most frightening dragon he's ever seen. Its mouth gapes wide, its eyes glow with unnatural light, its wings spread wide, _glorious_ -

_Osiris,_ is breathed into his ear, but not really, as he knows where the thought wandered from. He knows rationally that it can only be a hologram - dragons don't _exist_ - but there is something more there than that, something inherently supernatural about the Godlike majesty, the impossible, almighty breath that the beast breathes, the holy reverence that overwhelms him.

He can feel his other covering his mind, hiding him from something - hiding something from him - and feel the controlled anger that he experienced, and knows it isn't directed towards him. He looks down at his cards, aching, injured arm limp at his side. Three cards stare up at him, and he blinks at them; then lifts his eyes to his other's opponent.

"Yuugi...what's going on? Where am I?" he manages to croak. He knows a little about the tournament and where he had been not terribly long ago, but it certainly seems like a valid question, now that he is _very_ high in the air on what appears to be a blimp.

He feels dizziness make his mind hazy, and he sways on his knees for a moment, looking down at his hands again.

_Yanushii...your body is weakened._ His other self's voice is strong, hot with anger, fierce with control, and he finds it inexplicably reassuring. _Rest, Hikari. I will punish the offenders...soon..._

And he tries to protest, but he's dizzy, and tired, and he can't resist as the shadows press softly on his consciousness. They don't force him down now that he's not resisting.

In the last moment, he stares down at the card that's so close to him.

_Change of Heart. Half demon. Half angel._

What do you do when your own skin is a cage?

* * *

_Yanushi:_ Japanese. "Landlord." Bakura addresses Ryou as this.

_Hikari:_ Japanese. "Light." I don't think Bakura uses this as frequently as Yanushi, but it's a bit more common in fanfiction. I don't think I've ever seen Bakura use Ryou's name, to be honest.

_Osiris:_ The God of Osiris (the God Osiris, more accurately) is the Japanese name for Slifer the Executive Producer...I mean, Sky Dragon - but the subs of Duel Monsters usually aren't great so the translation is pretty rough. However, God of Osiris is the most consistently used for the subs. I've also seen Osiris the Sky Dragon used in fanfiction, but I like the God of Osiris. Also, theoretically, yes, there's something more going on than holograms when the God Cards are summoned. I don't buy that such things could possibly JUST be portrayed by super-advanced technology.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm actually pretty proud of this. It's very short, but it's nice to write something about Ryou and Bakura for a change. I really enjoyed writing it, too. This is one of my (many) thoughts on what Ryou must be doing while Bakura's in control, along with a few other ideas.

My other favorite Yami/Hikari duo...not as a pairing, of course, but still. My OTHER other favorite is Yami no Malik/Yami no Marik (just plain Marik, in my book...but Melvin, in the English dub. *shudders*) and Malik/Marik (whose name is really confusing me - the L and R sound extremely similar in Japanese, if they're not actually the same).

This took me about an hour of writing, total. Actually, it was done within a few hours, so...yeah. Cake.

_- Nitro_


End file.
